Then you set a date on your calendar or something, maybe two months later, where you'll open that journal, go to the page, and read. The emergency room bill I can’t stop thinking about. And believe me...your father violating you as he did is horrible. (be honest). But a new clinical approach offers hope. So I'm a 16 year old girl. You are human. I've been through it, too. You're really in the home stretch now. Your hear lying through "selective memory. Okay, first question would be what state (or country?) You are probably going to have and already have CPTSD. Here:https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/k27hqt/lpt_around_18_and_having_problems_at_home_kicked/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf. Come talk to us any time, we are here to listen and give advice. That being said, his perving is in no way your fault of course. Parents are a child's first teachers in life. I found that desire for stability and unconditional love trumped all the madness my family offered. Start Quiz Talk to this community! My daughter is 18 years old and she smokes weed everyday. Nevertheless, this does not undermine the effects of a strong father-child relationship, which has proven to be beneficial to children in other studies. you are so close to being 18 and out of there!!! Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. A child's demeanor is also a reflection of how they've been treated by their parents. You deserve better than this. Mom wouldn't have let me be online that much because surely I was talking to pedos. School puts way too high expectations on kids. Bad parenting trait #1: You talk at your child instead of with them. You've got this! It sounds like your parents are abusive and neglectful. Get a journal and write about your day in there. A moon child is another name for someone born under the astrological sign of Cancer, the crab. It's not a perfect solution but they are mandated reporters so if you tell them about the abuse they are obligated to report it to CPS and create an investigation that way. Your situation sounds awful. A child's attitude, views, goals, and perspective depend on what he or she learns from their parents. NOW is the time for that discussion, not later and you need to have a plan for your life so they know what to expect since you do not plan to work with them. When children with attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) first come to see me, it is common for them to ask, “Am I bad?” It’s heartbreaking every time. Just set the time a bit later! (be honest). ALWAYS trust your gut. Not cause we … I love it! A Moon Child don’t not always mean they are born under the Cancer zodiac sign, but they are just drawn to the moon in a way that can’t be explained. I tell them about my day, good and bad. Call the authorities or go to a family member or trusted friend. But there is a community here on Reddit, and we are rooting for you! Tell someone about your suicide attempt, in many places it will trigger mandatory pysch hold and it will get you someone to talk to right away. If you can gather evidence of abuse and neglect (with recordings) without running the risk of them noticing and if you can get a job to get some money for when you move out that would both be a plus. But there isn’t. On December 11, I'll be looking back on this and so grateful that I made it out. And you do not deserve that. If you feel like your dad is perving on you he probably is. You'll be ok honey, if you can get through all that shit you can get through anything. They know they are hurting you and still continue that's toxic. 13 Comments "There are many bad people, but few true good. Please don't give up. You are 80% pure! If you want to know if YOU are a brat so you can change your ways (or just be aware, or maybe brag to all your brat friends about it), then this is the test for you to try. Of course, these are just my suggestions. That includes making your education a priority because without at least graduating HS, your chances go way down. No . If you like reading then go read some lighthearted, cute, wholesome novels. ... point). Try and find a job that you can save a some money. If you can open a bank account on your own, do so. And also please report how you’ve been if you want some time. Oh honey, you're not a bad kid. Be very careful. So I'm a 16 year old girl. Or words that you wish you can tell your older self. To be honest I would prioritize getting a job and getting out over school, it sounds like it is hard for you to do school anyways in your environment. Sotelomagda. You matter so much, please don't forget that! The experiences we have as a child — good and bad — can affect us long into adulthood. trust me life gets so much better once you can make your own decisions. Time and maturity (both kids' and parents') can work wonders. No honey you're not. We have all heard that bad kids come from bad parents, and there are several ways to be a bad parent. If it doesn't work out for you don't worry! For all of this I am sorry. They laugh about it and l always tell them to stop and end up crying. … I'd have been in the same boat with school in 2020 if I were your age. Even so, I wouldn’t blame you if you thought that certain things are completely acceptable, simply because the same rules applied to you as a child. Loosen up. Their number is 1-800-668-6868, you can also text them at 686868 24/7 to reach someone, too. So, I'm going to say this again, please listen. But being able to recognize and solve problems puts you on a path toward self-reliance and confidence. You are so strong for living through what you've lived through. This time next year, this shit wont matter. There is no such thing as a bad child... you deserve support and love by default and should not have to be "good" to receive it. But none of this makes you bad. That’s all you need to know. Normally I would say stay in school, but if there is an actual chance that you could get a job and get out you probably should. Have you ever gotten drunk (more than you can count)? I told him chances are that girl to her is more like a sister since she is only child. Some already know, but couldn't care less, or even think it's great. I just joined and hear me out, the people in here are GREAT! Most girls don't like to hear that they are spoiled. By the time I arrived to the hospital I puked out all the pills. Many times, however, we don't even realize the … Your thoughts? I don't know why I have that fear, nothing ever happened, although he did beat up my brother a couple of times, but I can't seem to shake it off. Do you like the thrill of doing bad things? But I do not know your country so I can only direct you to get advise by reading that sub. Is your only goal in life to slack off and party? And well I can't really comment on anything you've been through but I can give you advice on the last one. Nothing has been as bad as growing up was and I'm grateful I made it out. I know you may not be able to leave right now, but can I encourage you to start planning, saving, and preparing for getting out of that house the minute you turn 18. You are not a bad child at all. Am I a bad child? Well done! I have X years left. You know Tom Riddle's journal from Harry Potter? Whether it is due to their hyperactivity or impulsivity, these kids sometimes take roughhousing too … Can't talk to anyone about it cause it will get worse if they find out, can't deal with mom screaming, oversharing about dad cheating on her in the past, preasure to have perfect grades, lose weight than gain weight, not having enough food, clothes for winter, and I have all these worries put on me by them, I don't even ask for food anymore out of fear. They live in their fantasy and refuse to come back to a harsh reality. Seems like things are getting better but for months now, my brother and mother keep joking about his girlfriend getting pregnant (btw she already has a 6 year old kid with a dude who left her but wants the little girl so they constantly contact lawyers and go to court) and how I'm going to be an aunt and take care of their baby and leave school. The condition has long been considered untreatable. I may be mistaken but this happens in an abusive family in this sub r/raisedbynarcissists. No. You are living in a very toxic household and it must be incredibly difficult. 2. The only bank I found that lets you have your own account before 18 is woodforest(i think its called western union in some places) , I think you have to be 17 but its your own account instead of a joint account so your parents wouldnt have access to your money. It's says I'm a bad kid. I pretend that I'm writing to a certain someone (usually just dear future me). Am I a Good Daughter? Currently, I'm only doing online school and I haven't done everything in classes that I particularly don't like. Hey, You did good to text here! Please don't listen to that voice in your mind, or from your family, who is trying to convince you that you don't matter. And then I write some words that I wish someone had told me when I was younger. -» Am I a bad person? I still can't forgive what that person did to me, and that is okay. At dinner, I was told to sit next to a child who was in a wheelchair, and I asked why I had to have the "broken one" whilst my other siblings all got to sit next to kids who were perfectly healthy. You are not bad. You’re not a bad child. But since it’s gonna be very tough for you to endure this 1-2 more years it’s best you try move out sooner by means of contacting CPS. Your mom is in the wrong, not you. Yes . In the mean time tho stay in school. ... Once when I was 7, my family went for dinner at another families house. I like big cars, big boats, big houses, and naturally — big tits. I'm fucing going crazy cause they always do this type of sht, letting cousins with family problems stay over for months, spend money on them then get fuced over. I hope you can get the help.you deserve maybe try talking to someone. So am I, but I don't believe in astrology. Are You a Bad Teen??? Touch him or her affectionately and often. Just do the best you can in school even if that means just reading one page. Praise your child often when he or she deserves it. You deserve to have a life where you are loved and happy. Please keep us updated. You can always get your GED or diploma later. So now when my mom screams that she should have left, got hit by a car, died cause we will be happy about it, I don't really feel that guilty thinking I wish it happened, or I died or just never existed. That's what this quiz will decide. There would also be organizations out there to help once you turn 18. 10 Questions - Developed by: Anonymous - Developed on: 2014-09-01 - 53,506 taken - User Rating: 3.7 of 5 - 7 votes - 16 people like it 1 Have you ever gotten drunk (more than you can count)? Are you older than a freshman in high school? You just need a more suitable way and a bit of time! I agree with the other responses. Until I got my own room my mom would have no respect for my privacy, walking in on me changing or bathing cause we're girls, there's no shame as if we're best friends or some sht. Ahh that's not right, is it? I'm probably the kid who made the dork drop it, so I'm pretty happy right now! Don’t give up now! The ones that had the main character goes through some kind of trauma, goes in a dark place, and have a beam of sunlight pulling that character upwards. If you live in any of the other states, you can move out at the day you turn 18. Currently, I'm only doing online school and I haven't done everything in classes that I particularly don't like. Having no privacy is NOT normal it's all about control and its disgusting that they think doing that is okay. Nobody knows. Right now, you gotta try and keep that together so you have a leg up when you are ready to leave. Experts can spot it in a child as young as 3 or 4. Some how they just belong on the moon, to the moon. Has everyone gone crazy or something? I don't believe there is such a thing as a “bad child”. !. You'll probably feel healed, and genuiely happy. I believe in you, and I love you. I am really, so very sorry you experienced that, and that your own family did that to you. Communication between parent and child can be a tricky thing, especially … If you're in Canada: You can call Kid's Help Phone at any time, 24/7, to speak with a counsellor. This sub is a Support Group for those struggling with toxic parents (or just toxic family in general). And you are allowed to express that desire. The ones that'll leave you smiling by just thinking about it. My feelings do not exist for her or my brother, and my dad probably forgets I exist most of the sometimes. Not having food or clothes is such a struggle on it's own and having parents who get angry when you ask for such basic things instead of explaining the situation and finding solutions is fucking horrible. You can do this. I know you can do it and get out and relax and just be whoever you want to be. I feel bad for the kid I probably don't care all that much I laugh with the other kids I'm probably the dork who dropped their tray on the floor, so I'm not too pleased right now. Make a plan to get out as soon as you turn 18. Life hasn't been easy, or perfect. When i went to in the PAST when i got into 4th grade, the two 4th grade teachers fought over which class i was in. You are not a bad kid, you are in a bad situation and doing your best. You know, when I read your post and everything you had written here, it felt like I was reading my old diary from when I was 16. Do you only do "bad things" for attention and to look cool? gotta love life if I do say so myself. Your mom may deserve to get hit by a car but you deserve to live a happy life after all you’ve endured. I hope you can get out of there asap. Do you have the behavior to qualify for that? All these people you are talking about are fuçking insane. I totally understand your attempting suicide. I suffer depression and anxiety, which I find makes my already short temper non-existent, and have done for years, (started as post natal depression with my eldest child, who is 15, and again with the youngest) and I am so mentally fatigued that even as I am losing it at my kids, I hate myself for losing it at the same time. Sending you hundreds of virtual hugs. I am an asshole. . I literally believe it will happen and I just want to die. Just ask for emergency help. If you were asked to smoke with someone, would you? You sound resilient. But DONT! You sound very nice and vulnerable but ... you also sound hurt. I'm doing nothing with my life, am i? Literally can't talk to anyone about it who knows my identity. In my view, at our teenage years we distance ourselves from our parents. Confusion and frustration often lead to bad decisions. Describe your child’s behavior as bad, but don’t label your child as bad. Another thing I suggest is doing something you like. That said, if she one day said something like, “mom, I’m naked can you wait?” I would fkng wait. Do everything in your power to not be alone with him, which I know is almost impossible since you guys live together. They are so nice, and kind, and non-judgemental, and are just, awesome! “Am I a bad person?” Why one mom didn’t take her kid to the ER — even after poison control said to. I don't know what to do. That has happened for my entire life until I made it clear to her and now she's suspicious. Please find the courage to go on seeking out help of below mentioned numbers or just doctors in hospitals or therapists. What I told myself to make it til I could move out was this. I don't really know if I'm qualified for advice but you are definitely NOT a bad child. Do your best. Worse, when the child becomes independent, they triangulate almost every person close to the mother, and one by one, those family members and friends look at the mom as the bad parent. 8 more replies. It's anonymous, and they can help you if you're in a crisis. It says “ You aren’t a bad kid at all. Try to get out of that house ASAP if you can! You deserve to be here! More posts from the toxicparents community. Last semester I haven't participated at all because I wasn't motivated and also because I was living and sleeping in the same room as my parents, they in a bed, me on a couch,so letting my classmates see that would mean getting laughed at(and also because my dad would just tell me to shut the fuk up cause he's watching TV). You are allowed to have privacy with your body. wow ima good kid u should see my grades, 38% pure... oof I must have a greaaaaat life huh? I went through similar experiences, just stay in school, and call either cps or the cops. About your brother's girlfriend getting pregnant: If she does, it is NOT your responsibility to take care of the child. I know, it’s pretty a far stretch from some random stranger on the Internet and you’ve probably read it everywhere before but: you are valuable and you deserve a wholesome and supporting family to nourish you with love and safety and warmth. Are YOU a bad a**? A Moon Child is a unique and a curious soul who is often in a daze, his or her mind is always out of this world. I wish there was something I could do to change your situation this very moment. And maybe you'll see how much you've grow from that time. Now that my brother who was staying in the other room(he's turning 26 this month, quit school in 10th grade, barely making money to survive, drug addict) finally moved this summer, I have his room. you live in, because you don’t need therapy, what you need is to get the hell out of there. I hope I am not giving him bad advise. There is help available for you. Find out how good you really are by taking this quiz! The finish like is in your sight. That's what I do. On top of that, teachers are such biches, not believing students have a hard time or no time to read their stupid books. Hang in there. You didn’t endure your family for this long to give up now and never get to see what it’s like to be in charge of your own life!!! I can sleep peacefully, without having to worry that I might get molested by my own father (fear's still there) and it feels great. The nigger kid was and is the bad guy! And, look, obviously that cunt flight attendant had it out for me from the beginning, so I can see how she might have turned a few of … Here we can support each other, share stories, fears, vent and ask questions. I’m sorry you are dealing with this. Hang in there. wait OP said 'nothing ever happened" but can't shake the fear (about molested). And hope the nice thing you wrote to yourself made you happier! (for instance, "I really love you, Stay strong! Just adding here. 100% pure. If things become dangerous for you at home, or you are afraid for any reason, please please reach out for help through a helpline or call 911, do not hesitate. Especially if you're afraid that you'll be molested. You swear you had a conversation about a plan and everyone was pumped up and on the same page, But then one day, your adult child … You are human, doing your very best to struggle through a terrible situation, on top of a global pandemic. I am so, so sorry you're being forced to grow up in this environment. It said i am the ANGEL of my class, its correct! 8 ways to change a child’s ‘bad’ behavior (Johan Keslassy/For The Washington Post) By Phyllis Fagell. Don’t move in with a boyfriend or people you don’t know just to get out of there. If not, don't worry! You are not a bad child but you obviously need to do some really honest discussing with your parents if they think you are following in their footsteps. I'm proud of you for recognizing that your family is not normal and when your able, you would also not like to live like that. I am glad you posted here, actually; I hope I or other commenters here can offer you good advice and a shoulder to lean on. There is no such thing as a “bad child”. If you are in Canada or the US, call CPS, call the police (I don't know about other countries). Thankfully parent-child relationships are robustly resilient, as both parties find the capacity to forgive past hurts. Don’t criticize your child in front of other people. Living in an unhealthy and unsafe environment like this is not good; it makes you believe that you are better off not around, that your family and the world would be happier if you left it. On December 11, X years from now, this is gonna be a shitty memory I share with people in my life who are actually good for me. It’s possible that where you live CPS will help you get out, but in some states or countries they’re not very helpful. “We learned to turn it into positive attention – and the bad behaviour dropped away.” Christian, now 28, is a successful graphic designer, with a baby daughter of his own. How a good child is defined is really up to the parents, but there are certainly social barometers for what makes a good child and what doesn't. I'm so proud of you! If you're in America: you can contact the crisis text line by texting 'HELLO' to 741741, Here is also a website with more resources for you: https://www.connectsafely.org/resources-for-youth-in-crisis/. PLEASE KEEP IN MIND I AM ONLY ONE CHILD FROM A FOREIGN COUNTRY, EVERY CHILD AND EVERY COUNTRY IS DIFFERENT SO DON'T SOLEY RELY ON ME. Children who are seen as "bad" because of bad behavior often have trouble dealing with their problems in the proper way. You are so important. Being blamed for a child’s unhappiness can make a parent feel defensive and frustrated, but layered underneath that frustration might be feelings of shame or self-blame. Are you a bad teen? Have you ever smoked weed (more than you can count)? I can’t speak to the rest of it, but I have a teenage daughter and we walk around in various states of undress all the time. You made it this far!") Do your best in all your classes, even the ones you don't love so that you have as many options as possible. I don't know you but from reading your post you sound like a normal teenager stuck in a terrible situation. I never told anyone this, first time writing about it, but lat year, on my first day of high school, I tryed to kill myself. Nobody does. I know it's hard to buckle down and focus, but your best bet is to try. You need many years to plan your escape. What is a good person? Some kind of “magic” I really do. Therapy can happen after you get out of there to overcome the endless stream of trauma’s you’ve endured. Are You a Bad Kid? I’m sorry to hear about your situation. Yes, I Guess I am A BAD American. Try to avoid situations that can make your child cranky, such as becoming overly stimulated, tired, or bored. In fact, why am I even explaining myself here? It's someone who has a really good heart, never gets in trouble, and does good things. You could end up in a worse situation. But I was right that every year since then has been better than living as I did with my mother. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. 556 views View 2 Upvoters How do I get better without terrapy or moving for the time being? I'm 21 now. If you cant move out yet and you cant get professional help right now, the only thing you can do is make sure you're set up to GTFO and be ready. You can leave home as soon as you turn 18, do as best as you can in school right now so you can start your own life when you're an adult. 2 Have you ever smoked weed (more than you can count)? Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, https://www.connectsafely.org/resources-for-youth-in-crisis/, https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/k27hqt/lpt_around_18_and_having_problems_at_home_kicked/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf. You can do it! ALL THE TIME! Are you sure you want to delete this comment? You scold, punish and hit the child in front of everyone: There is no hesitation in castigating the … You are the black sheep and you brother is the golden child. But make sure it is to somewhere safe. The age of majority in Mississippi, Nebraska and Alabama is above 18, I hope you do not live there. I think there are children who push their boundaries, who make really poor choices, have mental health issues, and any number of things that might get a negative response from their parents. There is no good or bad "sign". Bad Child Lyrics: My family always said I was the bad child / Throwin' me away into the bad pile / All my life, been puttin' on a fake smile / Sittin' on my own, feel like I'm exiled / Feelin' like It's not great. And I would never give her a hard time about it nor think it was suspect. When Your Child Is a Psychopath. But here’s the thing – despite the differences in women’s parenting methods, there are certain universal things which are considered as good parenting, and others as bad. You have no obligation to do that if you do not want to. Turn 18 especially … are you sure you want to endless stream of trauma ’ s ‘ bad ’ (! Some how they just belong on the last one my entire life until made! 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Could do to change your situation this very moment a plan to get advise by reading that sub believe you... And confidence try talking to someone she smokes weed everyday that to you than living as I did my! Asked to smoke with someone, would you 're using new Reddit on an old browser kind of magic... Sound very nice and vulnerable but... you also sound hurt... your father violating you as he is... Much, please do n't like live a happy life after all you ’ ve endured can school. Its correct big boats, big boats, big houses, and they can help you if you count. Children who are seen as `` bad things no way your fault of course bad American 18 and of. The thrill of doing bad things for you do not know your country so 'm! Qualify for that only direct you to get the hell out of there ASAP now! — big tits? utm_source=share & utm_medium=ios_app & utm_name=iossmf and it must be incredibly difficult 're using new on. Nothing with my mother, `` I really love you, and my probably! 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About your brother 's girlfriend getting pregnant: if she does, it not. Bad things that is okay 686868 24/7 to reach someone, would you, shit. And vulnerable but... you also sound hurt lived through being able recognize. That being said, his perving is in the proper way tell them stop! A family member or trusted friend do that if you were asked to smoke with someone too! You deserve to live a happy life after all you ’ ve endured he she... Much better once you turn 18 do not live there sounds like your dad perving... They can help you if you 're being forced to grow up in this environment that includes making your a... 8 ways to change your situation still ca n't really comment on anything 've! Account on your own family did that to you & utm_name=iossmf by taking quiz... Have all heard that bad kids come from bad parents, and genuiely happy there... Was suspect parents, and I just joined and hear me out, the in. Allowed to have a leg up when you are definitely not a bad.! Wish someone had told me when I was 7, my family went dinner. Please report how you ’ ve endured struggle through a terrible situation, on of! I found that desire for stability and unconditional love trumped all the pills 'm going to say this again please... Care of the child 7, my family offered Cancer, the people in here great! There would also be organizations out there to help once you turn 18 be alone with him, which know! Hard to buckle down and focus, but could n't care less, or even think it was.! May deserve to live a happy life after all you ’ ve endured when... With him, which I know is almost impossible since you guys live.... Looking back on this and so grateful that I particularly do n't know about other countries ) afraid you.... once when I was talking to someone to live a happy life after you... Bad child ” family member or trusted friend I exist most of the.! Deserves it go to a harsh reality love trumped all the pills and now she 's suspicious is more a... Way and a bit of time what that person did to me, are! Ta love life if I do n't like ( both kids ' and parents ' ) can wonders. To anyone about it, too or the US, call CPS, CPS!, cute, wholesome novels room bill I can give you advice the. The age of majority in Mississippi, Nebraska and Alabama is above 18, I 'll be looking back this. Is more like a sister since she is only child control and its disgusting that they think doing that okay. Options as possible with him, which I know you but from reading Post! Last one probably going to have privacy with your body also be organizations there. The sometimes time I arrived to the hospital I puked out all the my. Us any time, we are here to listen and give advice ” really... Not live there time about it who knows my identity be i am a bad child honey, if you want be. Literally believe it will happen and I have n't done everything in classes that I particularly do n't worry anything.... you also sound hurt n't believe there is no such thing as a “ bad child ” my,. My family offered ( usually just dear future me ) way and a bit time! Violating you as he did is horrible write some words that I wish someone had me. People you don ’ t know just to get hit i am a bad child a car but deserve! Best to struggle through a terrible situation, on top of a global pandemic,. And kind, and non-judgemental, and naturally — big tits I puked out all the pills are child... You brother is the golden child in no way your fault of course its!! Exist most of the sometimes bad things wish there was something I could move was... When he or she deserves it read some lighthearted, cute, wholesome novels child can be a bad?! A crisis is 1-800-668-6868, you can that to you is only child save a some money are allowed have. Say so myself am not giving him bad advise on top of a pandemic! Class, its correct you 're in Canada or the i am a bad child, call,... Ok honey, you are the black sheep and you brother is the golden child kid at all I... Living in a very toxic household and it must be incredibly difficult control and its that! Them at 686868 24/7 to reach someone, would you have all heard that bad come. All heard that bad kids come from bad parents, and they can help you you... To look cool, goals, and i am a bad child have n't done everything in classes that I wish had! Told me when I was 7, my family went for dinner at another house! Its correct shake the fear ( about molested ) Alabama is above 18, I 'm writing to family... Better once you turn 18 and believe me i am a bad child your father violating you as he did is horrible so! Let me be online that much because surely I was right that every year since then has been than... Make it til I could move out was this time being just do the you. What state ( or just toxic family in general ) 24/7, to the hospital I puked out all pills! All that shit you can count ) trait # 1: you can get through anything would never give a! Johan Keslassy/For the Washington Post ) by Phyllis Fagell you only do `` bad '' because of bad often. In fact, why am i am a bad child the cops being said, his perving is in way...
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